Back to reality

In a desperate attempt to provide some positive news, I have to admit to misleading you about my feelings for Sarah (although I’m sure that the sob stories make better reading, anyway). The reality was that despite enjoying her company (and a much-needed snog) at the weekend, I had no desire to have a long-term relationship with Sarah.

It’s so rare that a woman shows an interest in me on anything other than a platonic basis, I get more excited than I should when it does happen. In all honesty, Sarah is a nice woman with a lot of qualities. But on a superficial level, she couldn’t be less my type. She reminded me very much of one of my ex-girlfriends. A ‘traditionalist’ might be the kindest description. Someone described Sarah as having a warm and friendly face, with character. But so does Father Christmas – and I’m certainly not interested in the contents of his sack. And she’s a Daily Mail reader.

But the idea of having someone with whom to explore a new city, go on a few weekends away (and particularly as someone who would pay her own way financially) and to enjoy the other benefits of being in a relationship appealed in the short term.

Not that Sarah could have known that she isn’t the woman of my dreams because I had said all the right things in texts and emails in the 72 hours between our initial meeting and our date. So we met up in the City on Wednesday evening and were soon snuggled up on a leather sofa. Everything was fine for the first 30 minutes, as we chatted away while holding hands, occasionally breaking off to kiss (I know this sounds inconsistent with what I wrote above, but Christmas is a lonely time).

But then Sarah let slip that it was a long way from Essex to Bristol. I concurred, but said that wouldn’t be a problem if we didn’t want it to be. In fact, I found the idea that I would probably see her only once a fortnight quite amenable – as long as it wasn’t when West Ham were playing at home.

She was just apologising for putting a dampener on our prospects when she said that she didn’t have a free weekend until March (even bizarrely claiming that she hardly had a free evening). Before that had registered, Sarah then said that she didn’t want a relationship, as she was enjoying being single after finishing with someone in July (she said that she has been ‘surprised’ by the effect I had had on her). It was as is she had a form of Tourette’s, continually barking out excuses why the relationship had no future.

The whole time, we were wrapped round each other on the sofa (you know those unpalatable over-tactile couples that you want to shout ‘get a room’ at – that was us). To my embarrassment, I tried to persuade her to change her mind. She admitted that she was more than tempted to take things further on a base level, as she really fancied me, but used the moral high ground of never having had a ‘casual relationship’ to quash her feelings. It was all a question of ‘bad timing’, according to Sarah.

I asked her where we went from here. Sarah shrugged, but was more than happy to sit there till closing time, making small talk and kissing. I finished my beer immediately (well, it probably took 20 minutes – I did have a third of a pint left) and walked her to Liverpool Street station. I almost lost my temper when she kept asking where I was taking her. Did she think I was going to kidnap her and not let her go until she acquiesced?

Sarah was apologetic, but admitted that she hadn’t thought her feelings through before turning up at the pub. But I found that hard to believe, as I was the first bloke she had been near for five months, while she had discussed the subject with all her friends and had admitted to her colleagues that she was going on a ‘date’. I only wish that I had known things were not going to progress beyond a very average kiss that night in the Peak District, because the other two women (a stunning lawyer and a feisty woman who has paid off the mortgage on her riverside apartment by the age of 36) in the group were far more what I am looking for.

To top it all, I had to buy the drinks.